I think everyone agrees that going through a traumatic experience changes you. You feel more empathy, personal awareness and awareness of situations around you and others.
You’re lived experience of a situation makes you feel the pain of others who are going through the same, and protective of those who might be susceptible.
It is no secret that eating disorders are becoming more common in today’s society, and it truly hurts my heart to know all the innocent girls and boys going through the battle.
However, having gone through this myself, and now immersing myself fully back into society, work, life and everything – I am realising how so many comments, conversations and topics being discussed in public are so, so very wrong and harmful. It’s no wonder body image and diet culture is such a huge problem.
“She’s gained a lot of weight since I last saw her”.
I was by-standing a conversation in public not all that long ago, and this comment came up.
Now, a lot of people perhaps dismiss this comment, or even continue into the conversation agreeing and judging. And I am certain that comments like these come up all the time – I have heard MANY comments regarding someone’s weight and shape.
However I just want to take this moment to explain to people out there who think making comments about someone’s weight or shape is okay – because I and many others find it very offensive and dangerous.
Firstly, imagine if I (or others) were still quite unwell and battling along with my own body image. Hearing someone make a judgmental comment about another person based on their weight and change of shape would absolutely be enough to trigger me and send me backwards.
Comments like this basically justify the eating disorder brain, that yes, society judges you firstly on your body shape, and that you are less of a person if you are in a bigger body – what we spend our lifetime trying to steer away from.
Secondly, the person who you are making the comment about may have been very unwell previously. This person might have previously had a bad relationship with food and exercise and now that they are healthier mentally and physically. Of course they’re body will change.
This happened to me. I’m pretty sure the last time I saw a lot of people I was a lot thinner. I would be completely disappointed and offended to know if someone was making comments like this in public about me – because my health back then when I was thinner, does not even compare to where I am now.
Lastly, imagine young kids and teens hearing these conversations and learning that people judge others on their body shape. Learning that being thinner is better, and that people will talk about you if your body changes. Is that notextremely dangerous?
So before you go to make a comment about someone’s body. Stop. You could be harming someone listening, you could be damaging others beliefs and values and you will most certainly contribute to the issue with society and the rise of eating disorders.
And if these thoughts about someone’s body do come to your mind, I challenge you to think twice about why you are judging someone based on their body – and maybe it’s your own beliefs and thoughts that need to be looked at.
Carla xx
